Why social distancing is so important, even though it meant I missed my dad’s final days - Peterborough MP

If you’re young, fit and healthy, this lockdown might seem over the top – but there are younger victims too and deaths without any of the risk factors. By staying at home, we are saving lives.

It’s not easy. The restrictions are hard for many and can cause their own pain. My family feels this, because my father died at home on Sunday.

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Peterborough MP Paul Bristow pays tribute after death of his father

He died from an aggressive brain tumour, unrelated in a medical sense to Covid-19. I don’t think the lockdown made much difference to his final care, but it made a difference to us.

I couldn’t spend time with him in the days beforehand or bring his grandchildren to see him. When I dropped off items outside, I couldn’t go inside to comfort my mother. It was necessary, but it hurt.

My father loved the two places he called home: York, where he was born and grew up; and Whittlesey, where he settled when I was five years old.

He was an NHS nurse, an NHS manager, a care home manager and a soldier, rising to the rank of Lt Colonel as a reservist in the Army Medical Service. He was also a trade unionist and a former chair of UNISON in Peterborough.

Latterly, he became a local councillor, elected first as a town councillor and then as a district councillor for his beloved Whittlesey.

Yet to our family he was always a husband, a father and a grandfather. He looked after us and enriched our lives, just as he did for the many people he came across through his work and who loved him.

I am lucky to have had him for 41 years. He was a spritely 77, only subdued towards the end.

Cancer can affect anyone, at any time. Brain tumours kill more young people than any other type of cancer, although only attract two per cent of research funding. Charities like Brain Tumour Research and the Peterborough-based Anna’s Hope are really important to correcting this imbalance.

Losing my father during lockdown makes me acutely aware of the pain and grief being experienced by others. Many were devastated at not able to see loved ones who were dying at Peterborough City Hospital. Thankfully, new guidelines are allowing close family members to say their goodbyes.

For all the unprecedented support from the Government, it is only right to be held to account and asked questions.

Those asking have an equal duty to be responsible, rather than seeking ‘gotcha’ moments. In an emergency, the perfect is the enemy of the good and not everything will go to plan. Moreover, nothing should undermine the message to stay at home, protect the NHS and save lives.

No one wants us to get back to normality more than me. I can see the damage to businesses, to mental health, to some of the bonds of civil society – but we will get through this together.

Our city has a great future. We can all play our part, and when I look at the challenges ahead I will always be able to hear my dad saying, “Paul, get off your backside.”