Tuchel’s tactics blew this World Cup Finals campaign. He was Southgate on steroids
When Thomas Tuchel was appointed England head coach in January, 2025, I wrote his nationality didn’t bother me, but his love of negative football did.
We had just got rid of one coach incapable of thinking positively and replaced him with another. I still shudder at the memory of Chelsea’s football under the German, although he did manage to win a big prize with them.
Gareth Southgate deservedly received enormous flak for his approach as England chief and Tuchel now deserves all that he is currently receiving. More so, as he was supposed to bring big game nous into the job rather than replicate his predecessor’s cowardly tactics.
It was a World Cup semi-final against dirty, cynical opponents from a country we don’t like much. Go down by all means, but at least go down bravely, not with a whimper.
I’m no tactical wizard, but I was yelling at the TV, and my patient wife, for Tuchel to abandon a suicidal decision to camp out on the edge of our own penalty area as soon as we had taken the lead.
I had hoped he would sort it out at the hydration break, but no, he instead doubled down on all-out defence even though we were gifting great players all the time in the world to deliver perfect crosses. The outcome appeared inevitable long before it became a reality.
Argentina could have scored four in the final half an hour and it wouldn’t have flattered them. Tuchel would have deserved that for leaving no-one on the pitch with the pace or skill to get into the Argentina half.
In the end the lack of depth and quality in the squad caught up with us and that was on Tuchel as well. Argentina were very good once they swapped fouling for playing. They exposed how far off the world’s best this England team is. At 39 Lionel Messi played on a different level to our best player, Jude Bellingham.
To be fair Bellingham and Harry Kane spent most of the tournament bailing their teammates and coach out, but they had run out of steam before facing their first strong opponents.
Kane had expired as an influence the game before as his input against Norway in the quarter-finals was negligible.
Did Tuchel regret not picking Trent Alexander-Arnold while he was watching Ezri Konsa’s pitiful attempts to cross the ball in the latter stages against Argentina? Did Tuchel ever regret filling a midfield squad space with has-been Jordan Henderson? Was he embarrassed that Dan Burn played more minutes up front than Ollie Watkins? I doubt those thoughts breached an arrogant mind.
The unfathomable Henderson selection will harm England’s chances in future tournaments. Adam Wharton has been denied valuable big-game experience, all while England tried full-backs Reece James and Nico O’Reilly in midfield.
England can take only crumbs of comfort from the tournament. The win over Croatia promised an entertaining approach, misleadingly as it happened as Tuchel was overly concerned about leaking two goals rather than excited about scoring four.
The media and others lost their heads over the Mexico win because of the extreme circumstances. We didn’t play well and we were subsequently even worse when beating Norway.
The FA should have regrets as well, mainly extending Tuchel’s contract to include the next Euros before the World Cup Finals had started.