It’s the ‘silly season’, the time between football seasons when stories are often exaggerated or even made up just to fill space.
Can you spot the made-up stories from this summer?
1) Liverpool FC’s top signings so far this summer are James Milner and Danny Ings which suggests the ‘Reds’ are happy for another season of mediocrity. Milner can be effective when surrounded by classy players, but he won’t get that at Anfield. Ings went missing when Burnley needed him most last season which suggests playing under pressure, which he will get at Anfield, won’t suit him.
2) England are now so boringly bad under Roy Hodgson, TV broadcasters are apologising for showing the matches live (and yet the same channel failed to apologise) for showing cheating dogs on Britain’s Got Talent live) and national newspapers are running polls to find a duller game than the 0-0 draw in Dublin last weekend. They haven failed.
Hodgson is the man who earned a contract extension after failing to get England through the group stages of the last World Cup.
3) BT Sport will be showing the Champions League live next season. Their coverage will be fronted by Gary Lineker and his absurd goatee so expect more pathetic scripted puns and inane, irrelevant references to his own career. BT paid £897 million for three years of coverage which is an awful lot to watch Arsenal go out at the last 16 stage.
4) There is a women’s World Cup taking place right now in Canada. It’s quite entertaining which is a slight on the current state of the men’s game as much as it is a compliment to female footballers. The ladies don’t dive as much, waste time as much or swear and abuse officials as much which is quite refreshing. Even Saturday’s decent Champions League final was marred by fakery and skulduggery.
5) It’s obvious that FIFA desperately need a big, straight-talking personality who doesn’t suffer fools gladly and who isn’t afraid (and doesn’t need a bung) in order to take brave, difficult decisions. Posh chairman Darragh MacAnthony has been asked to stand as the next president.
6) I love a good transfer rumour, but surely Chelsea are not really interested in Radamel Falcao? That would immediately knock Milner to Liverpool off top spot in the ‘most pointless signing of the summer’ table.
7) The United Counties League -a competition watched by few - have banned payments to players.
It’s a move made at the request of the players who are fed up being labelled as ‘move anywhere for an extra fiver money-grabbers.’
A players’ rep said: ‘We want to prove that we move only because we believe in the vision and philosophy of the clubs that we join. We want to preach loyalty and commitment to the badge over the fact that we love getting paid.”
All 173 transfers between UCL clubs this summer have been terminated. Players must now remember who they were playing for last season.