The past and how you remember it

So, football didn’t exactly come home. Or did it? England didn’t win the World Cup but they did bring us some happiness for a bit, writes hynotherapist John Cooper. Add to that the glorious summer weather and for a while, we all forgot about the state of the world and enjoyed ourselves.

For young people especially, they might remember this summer for the rest of their lives.

Perhaps it’ll be the smell of barbecues, cut grass and the fact that we actually won a penalty shoot-out. Perhaps instead they’ll remember the flies, the sunburn and the disappointment that comes with losing a semi-final to a country that has a population half the size of London.

Memories are the closest we get to time travel. I can remember Italia 90’ and the freedom of being 17 in the summertime. I’m back there in a heartbeat on hearing that song by New Order or getting a whiff of Joop. It was a glorious time, free from the anxiety of social media, 24 hour news and Boris Johnson. Was it really so great though? I was in the middle of a terrible relationship and worried about my future. I wasn’t dealing very well with my parents’ divorce. We choose how we remember things. Basically, it doesn’t matter so much what happened, it’s more important how I choose to remember it.

If we’re lucky, we have dealt with the past and are free of emotional baggage. If not, bad feelings can be triggered by something we see, hear or smell. I knew someone who followed a stranger around a department store once because she was wearing the same perfume as his ex-girlfriend. It’s no shame to cry in the haberdashery department of BHS, folks. It’s not so funny when something triggers a panic attack, though.

Music can get right to the heart of things. My Mam loved Phil Collins, so when I was a kid I had to endure ‘No Jacket Required’ a thousand times. It doesn’t score highly on the trauma scale but a chilling thought nonetheless. Genuinely though, all these years later if I so much as hear the introduction to Sussudio I think about my Mam and that’s a lovely thing.

If you want to be free of sorrow then you have to turn away from it. Stop accidentally triggering the memories that are keeping the pain alive.

In hypnosis, we work on a sub-conscious level, getting to the heart of the matter. We don’t delete your memories, I help you to have control over them. It’s about accepting and letting it go. Only then can you start to feel excited and positive about the future.

If I had a jukebox I’d fill it with records I really loved. And maybe a couple of Phil Collins songs just in case my Mam popped round for a cup of tea.