Abuse survivor who fled to Peterborough runs London Marathon in aid of NSPCC

Vicky was just a child when she was subjected to sexual abuse from a close family member. This eventually led her to escape her abuser to move in with her aunt in Peterborough.

Since then, Vicky has had life-changing counselling and a week ago she was one of thousands who ran the London Marathon in their local area due to Covid-19 restrictions.

She raised over £2600 for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

She said: “I think of what it would have been like for me living with my abuser during a situation like lockdown and realise that it’s vitally important to support charities like the NSPCC and Childline.

“No one educated me about abuse growing up and the NSPCC campaign tirelessly to change this. If I knew what was happening to me as a child, I might have spoken out sooner.

“Children really have been the hidden victims in this pandemic but through it all the NSPCC has continued to shine a spotlight on issues just like this so children going through similar experiences

like I did have a safe confidential place to turn.

“It’s crucial that we continue to raise awareness on this subject, abuse should not be a taboo subject and children need to know what behaviour to look out for.

“I ran the marathon to raise funds for campaigns like the NSPCC’s Speak Out, Stay Safe assemblies which show children in an age-appropriate way how to spot the signs of abuse.”

Vicky’s story began when her parents separated and a close family member moved in with her mother and her siblings.

She added: “Although it’s clear to me now that my abuser began grooming me before he moved in, it became a lot worse afterwards. He would often let himself into the bathroom when I was bathing or find me early in the morning or late at night in my room.

“Soon every single day was filled with wondering when he was next going to hurt me and how he would do it. I’d almost take comfort in the fact that it was ‘over with’ and for the rest of the day I would be safe.

“Days when he was particularly nice scared me the most as a few hours later he would change and become a completely different person and the abuse would continue.

“I began to hate my home and tried to be there as little as possible. During school holidays, I would finish breakfast, go out and not return until tea was ready that night.

“I would be alone from a really young age, I’d find places to hide for hours as it was the only time I felt safe.

“We lived in a remote place and I often felt isolated. My mother would often visit family in Peterborough, believing I was safe and looked after, in reality these were times when I was completely left alone with my abuser.”

Vicky didn’t initially report the abuse as her abuser told her that what he was doing was completely normal but that no one talked about it and if she told her mother, she wouldn’t love her anymore.

Over time the abuse changed and Vicky was raped for the first time when she was just 11.

She said: “This changed my attitude to him. Instead of trying to act nice hoping that it would prevent what would do to me, I started being openly horrible.

“I’d argue with him in front of my mum and when she inevitably told me off it would reaffirm what he had told me; if I said anything, I’d lose her.

“One evening when I was 14, mum was away visiting family again and he got that look in his eye. I knew he was going to try and rape me again.

“I was so afraid, I didn’t know where to go or what to do. He had been drinking heavily, so I hid

outside of the house and waited for him to pass out.

“When I arrived at school the next day I couldn’t keep my emotions bottled up anymore. When my teachers asked me what was wrong though, all I could say was that my abuser was nasty to me and kept calling me names. When mum found out she blamed my age.”

After this, Vicky was sent into a spiral that began with smoking and skipping school. Although she did manage to keep her grades up and go onto study A-levels, she was also suspended for fighting and missing so many classes. She then began to turn to alcohol.

When she was 16, she decided to take decisive action and it was the thought of a similar thing happening to her younger sibling that drove her to do this.

She said: “My mum went away again and I soon saw that same look in his eye. He had been drinking and shouting at me, I knew I was in danger.

“I climbed out my bedroom window and hid in a tree outside. It was freezing cold and dark, but I was too scared to go back.

“I watched him put my younger sibling to bed and quickly become enraged when he couldn’t find me. He said he was going to kill me.

“Once again, I waited until he passed out before I came back in and I slept in my sibling’s bed that night. A new thought dawned on me, although he hadn’t hurt them yet. I realised there was a chance he would and that drove me to act.

“The next day I told my form tutor I needed to tell her something and she took me to the deputy head and he listened. Without hesitation, he called the police.

“It took ages for me to record my statement at the police station. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but it was the first time I actually felt I mattered.

“I was 17 when the case was due to go to court. The night before the trial my abuser pleaded guilty and it was a huge relief but afterwards I went off the rails.

“I would skip school and drink in the park instead. My teachers told me that I was going to fail my A-levels if I continued as I was.

Around this time, Vicky was invited to move in with her aunt in Peterborough but was struggling with suicidal thoughts. It was from this point she started her counselling journey.

She added: “I had group counselling when I was younger, but found that all I did was store everything up in a little box in my mind.

“As the years went on the flashbacks became more vivid and I decided to try a specialised counsellor about a year ago. I realised I was still blaming myself for what happened and it took a long time for me to say ‘it’s not my fault.’

“These things never leave you, but I can talk about it now. I think of what it would have been like for

me living with my abuser during a situation like lockdown and realise that it’s vitally important to

support charities like the NSPCC and Childline.”

This is why Vicky ran the London Marathon in aid of the charity and is also supporting their Parents in Sport Week, which runs from October 5-11.

It is an annual campaign where the NSPCC raise awareness of parent’s involvement in youth sport and share guidance on how clubs can keep children safe.

This is something especially important to Vicky as she is now a football coach for her children’s team.

She said: “It’s important we recognise that abuse happens elsewhere and that’s why I’m also supporting the NSPCC’s Parents in Sport Week.

“As a football coach for my children’s team I know it’s important that children are safeguarded in sport, all coaches should be DBS checked but I’ve also completed a safeguarding course.

“I’m happy to add my name to the long list of parents who are making the Sports Parents Promise and I would encourage other parents to do the same.

“I believe if more people speak out and create more awareness there will be far less children suffering from the same sort of abuse that I did.”