I have to admit it was a pretty exciting start to the Premier League season.
Here are 10 things I’d like to see happen at the top level in 2017-18, but I’m expecting to be disappointed on all counts.
1) Spurs to win the league. They have a top-class manager with a grasp on reality, a host of top young English players, an attractive playing style and a chairman who pays people what they are worth rather than what blood-sucking agents demand. Unfortunately a thin squad and playing home games at Wembley will ensure they come up short again.
2) Manchester United to become as buccaneering and as exciting as they were under Sir Alex Ferguson.
I see the usual suspects (useless pundits) were seduced by United’s demolition of a pathetic West Ham side last weekend, but believing manager Jose Mourinho will do anything apart from revert to boring type as a destroyer of the beautiful game when the heat is on is remarkably optimistic.
3) Jurgen Klopp leads Liverpool to success.
I like Klopp. I like him a lot. He doesn’t appear to take himself too seriously. He smiles a lot. He wants his side to entertain and to win. And yet he keeps picking Dejan Lovren.
4) Arsene Wenger admits he’s a relic of the 1990s and quits as manager of Arsenal.
He won’t. His famed intelligence has been replaced by stubbornness and selfishness. Even without the Champions League to embarrass them, I still expect the Gunners to finish outside the top four without bothering to change a past-it manager.
5) Clubs take a firm stance against wantaway players.
In a season just a week old, Virgil Van Dijk wants out of Southampton, Philippe Coutinho wants to leave Liverpool, Diego Costa is refusing to even train with Chelsea and Gylfi Sigurdsson wants an exit from Swansea. All are on lucrative contracts which I assume they weren’t forced to sign, but all will be/have been allowed to leave. There is too much power in the hands of disloyal players and unscrupulous agents.
6) Everton to break into the top four.
Ronald Koeman is a top boss unafraid to give his young players a chance. Sadly he still seems to believe Wayne Rooney can be a force at the highest level.
7) Leicester to be relegated after their players turn on manager Craig Shakespeare, and Claudio Ranieri to turn the job down in favour of managing Derby County.
8) A Premier League club signs a goalkeeper because he is good at stopping shots at his goal.
A radical thought I know, but this obsession with ball-playing goalies is bonkers.
9) Roman Abramovich to sell Chelsea leaving all those who started supporting the club when they became good bereft of anything to brag about at weekends (Until they start supportimng Manchester City).
10) Match of the Day to scrap all pundits and become an hour-long highlights show with no inane prattle from thick blokes. Come on BBC think of the money you’d save.