As it’s Christmas I thought I might offer a bit of seasonal cheer in this week’s column and have a festive quiz.
There are, of course, no prizes – in many cases there aren’t even any answers –but you can rate yourself on a scale from total turkey to Christmas cracker.
1First up – and this has been bothering me since I first arrived in Peterborough nearly 20 years ago – why aren’t all the entrance doors to Queensgate automatic?
The entire population of the city has probably walked through those doors in the past few weeks searching for that perfect Christmas present and I reckon 80 per cent of shoppers use the automatic doors with people practically queueing rather than using the manual ones. Is this a Peterborough phenomenon?
2Which is the least festive workplace in Peterborough? The editorial department of your Peterborough Telegraph (picture above) would like to make a pitch for the Bah Humbug trophy. And before you ask, no, we didn’t have a ‘wear a Christmas jumper to work day’!
In our defence the tree never gets put away and is on display the whole year round!
3The Coca Cola truck in Cathedral Square. Why?
4Do shop owners/managers believe that encouraging their staff to wear fake antlers makes me want to spend more money?
I can answer this one! It doesn’t. Although managers at Sainsbury’s in Bretton will be glad to know I still bought far more booze and food than I needed on my last pre-Christmas shop despite numerous sightings of antlers and elf ears.
5A multiple choice question now. Internet retailer Amazon has revealed that Peterborough residents spend more on their pets than almost anywhere else in the UK. Does that mean that Peterborians are a) kinder than the rest of the country or b) dafter?
6Now a question for Mrs T... if turkey, cranberry sauce, roast chestnuts, Christmas pudding and sprouts are so yummy why do we only eat them once a year?
7 Have Peterborough City Councillors spent as much on their Christmas as they usually do or have they slashed their festive budget? I hope they recycled gifts (Green Capital... ho,ho, ho as Santa might say).They didn’t hand out many presents to residents last year although to be fair for us journalists the solar farm scheme was the gift that kept on giving.
8Why does anybody think buying someone a candle for Christmas is a good idea? They are a fire risk and most people hav e access to electricity. What’s wrong with a pair of socks (festive motif optional )?
9What was Warwick Davis doing with Queen guitarist Brian May next to the Christmas “tree’’ in Cathedral Square?
10 Finally, the question you’ve probably been asked scores of times in the run-up to the big day. Are you ready for Christmas?
I know the answer to this one. It’s “Yes’’ and I have been since Boxing Day last year. Mrs T, on the other other hand, isn’t...
Diary Of A Bad Dad
To paraphase astronaut Neil Armstrong: “that’s one small step for Baby T2, one giant leap for the Thornton family.’’
Except it’s not quite happened yet. Baby T2 has been teasing us for weeks as we wait for his first step proper.
After retiring as the undefeated All England speed crawling champion, he graduated to a daily cruise event. Thankfully, there were no teenagers in souped-up little hatchbacks, just Baby T crossing our lounge in record-breaking time clinging on to furniture.
I’m not so sure why we are so keen for him to start walking. He gets into enough mischief as it is. When he does finally start walking, we might have to nip to Thorpe Wood cop shop and see if they’ve got a spare electronic tag.
I have a theory he’s waiting until Christmas Day to take that first step in a bid to be the centre of attention, which will not please Toddler T.
I like his style.