A jealous lover accused of hacking his girlfriend into pieces after strangling her said he tried in vain to resuscitate her after noticing she was not breathing.
Vitautas Jokubauskas, 57, allegedly strangled Ramute Butkiene, 42, with the cord of her dressing gown after accusing her of having another lover.
The Lithuanian used his butchery skills to cut her up at his home in Peterborough, buried her limbs in nearby woods and threw her head in the River Nene.
He insisted he hadn’t noticed she was unconscious after trying to ‘scare here’ by pressing the dressing gown cord against her neck, or he would have started trying to resuscitate her straight away.
He said he carried out CPR, but gave up when he saw foamy blood coming from her lungs, saying “that’s when I realised it was the end.”
“My hands were shaking, my heart was beating. I can’t imagine how to explain it. I had a feeling as if the ground under my feet was moving.’
He said he didn’t bother calling for help from his neighbours or emergency services because it was too late by then.
“I lost understanding, I lost the feeling of reality. She lost her life and my life was in ruins straight away.
“The only option was to kill myself, to commit suicide. I didn’t see the reason to live anymore, there was no purpose in life left, nothing.
“But I definitely didn’t want things to happen the way they did. I didn’t want her dead.”
After killing her, he spent two days sitting in their flat next to her corpse which he had covered with a sheet.
“It was just to forget everything, to figure out what to do next. There was only one thought in my head and that was to commit suicide.”
Asked why he hadn’t killed himself, he replied: “I was planning how to do it, for some reason I didn’t do it straight away – whether to do it outside, how to do it.
“I thought that I would call the police just before I committed suicide. I did understand it was a very big problem.’
He continued: “I live in a civilised world and I know that for actions like this the person will be punished.
“I did love her and the thought of killing her never crossed my mind, and how it happened and why it happened I still can’t understand.
“I didn’t see that things could turn out the way they did, If I wanted to kill her I probably would have killed her somewhere else, not at home.”
When asked why he had dismembered the victim, he said: “Somebody, the police, would find that body sooner or later, I think there was panic involved.
“It’s unexplainable, I can’t understand it myself.”
The Lithuanian used his butchery skills to cut her up at his home in Peterborough, buried her limbs in nearby woods and threw her head in the River Nene, the court has heard.
Ms Butkiene’s torso was found locked inside a suitcase in his room in Mayor’s Walk a week later on 5 June this year.
A post-mortem was unable to determine the cause of her death because her head was never recovered.
Jokubauskas previously claimed his ‘lovely’ relationship with Ms Butkiene soured because of her excessive drinking of vodka.
He has admitted hitting his girlfriend for the first time a month after they first met, during a row in the middle of the night.
One one occasion he said he hit Ms Butkiene on the hand with a golf club to stop her drinking from a bottle of vodka.
“All of these arguments were mainly because of the drinking,” he said.
He told the jury that “the basis for every argument was drinking” and that their relationship became a lot quieter in the weeks leading up to Ms Butkiene’s death with ‘little quarrels’.
He was found sleeping rough a few weeks after the body was discovered.
Jokubauskas, of (40) Mayor’s Walk, Peterborough, has pleaded guilty to manslaughter and preventing lawful burial but denies murder.
The trial continues...