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Why Cheltenham made me sick



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I WAS sick of the Cheltenham National Hunt Festival by the end of last week.
Great play was made in the media of the great camaraderie between jockeys, trainers and owners and to be fair the event can rival major tournament golf when it comes to sportsmanship.

But there is an element of animal cruelty which stops me joining in the back-slapping.

There were about 60 days of bans handed out in four days for misuse of the whip and those involved included the biggest jockey names like AP McCoy, Ruby Walsh and Robert Thornton.

Walsh was even banned twice on the same day which proves that the punishments handed out are not a big enough deterrent.

The sport's apologists will tell you that modern whips don't harm or mark the horses, but it must still hurt pretty bad or the horses wouldn't respond.




SO England won in style on the last day of rugby union's Six Nations competition.

Good for them, but if coach Brian Ashton is anywhere near the squad this time next season I'll be appalled.

It was England's fault that a mediocre Welsh team claimed a Grand Slam. They would have been crushed beyond repair in the opening game at Twickenham if England had any discipline or organisation.

That was Ashton's fault as was the absurd gameplan, and selection, at Murrayfield against Scotland.




FURTHER proof, as if it was really needed, that professional football is miles up its own backside arrived with the Champions League draw.

Why did it take an hour to complete? Is it really necessary for some nonentity of a spokesman to point out the bleeding obvious like the quarter-finals being played over two legs with each team playing one at home and one away?

Why do the clubs appear to have half a dozen representatives each at the draw which was held in Switzerland? And why does one of them always appear to be writing the draw down? Are they scared they will forget who they are playing?

The whole event is a charade for over-paid executives to travel thousands of miles in vain attempts to justify their existence.

Obviously it's much more fun going on an all-expenses paid junket rather than help to solve the many ills which plague this once great sport.

No wonder so many politicians, the undisputed kings of freebies and expenses fiddles, try and secure jobs in football.

As many MPs have based entire careers on lies, distortions and spin, football must seem like their natural second home.




AND what a dreadful draw it was. The prospect of Liverpool and Chelsea meeting each other in the semi-finals must fill lovers of thrills, spills, entertainment and skill with dread.

For the good of football I hope Arsene Wenger can drag his Arsenal team out of their current rut in time to deny Rafa Benitez the chance to pretend he knows what he's doing.




I HEARD the best rant ever in the history of football phone ins on the way home from Brentford last week.

A Watford fan launched an assault on the standard of the Championship and insisted it would be a complete waste of time for any team to win promotion this season as they would be coming straight back down.

He described the standard of football as appalling (anyone who has had the misfortune to watch Watford or Stoke this season would say he was understating his case) and why would a fan of a team like Bristol City or Plymouth want to go up when they would be forced to endure nine months of misery the following season?

He should have included managers in that as Billy Davies was realistically condemned to the sack the minute he led Derby to victory in last season's Championship play-off final.




LOAN signings bug me as much as gobby local players in the world of football.

Birmingham won promotion from the Championship last season on the back of borrowing players from Arsenal and Wolves lent Stoke Jay Bothroyd last week with manager Mick McCarthy stating that he hoped he would score goals against their promotion rivals.

Cheltenham are being led to safety in League One by a Bristol City player and if Hereford win promotion from League Two this season it would be a scandal as they will have achieved it by scrounging players on a temporary basis from other clubs.

What's the point of that? Surely teams should buy the best players they can with the budget they have (it wouldn't be much in Hereford's case given their awful attendances) and then coach them and organise them into a decent side.

Instead Hereford are challenging because their manager has some great contacts within the game. It's a short-term measure doomed to long-term failure.

The full article contains 808 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
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  • Last Updated: 18 March 2008 2:59 PM
  • Source: n/a
  • Location: Peterborough
 
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Dan Jackson,

Peterborough 18/03/2008 17:43:26
Yet another all negative column Alan. Perhaps you should stop your column as all you do is whinge and depress the readers.

Maybe next week you can surprise us all with some positive comments.
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Old Peterborezzz,

19/03/2008 07:09:04
Quote - The whole event is a charade for over-paid executives to travel thousands of miles in vain attempts to justify their existence.

better quote - The whole column is a charade for pee poor 'journalist' to write thousands of words in vain attempts to justify their existence
3

Raph,

Leicester 19/03/2008 09:11:57
I tend to go out of my way to voice my disagreement with your column, but I agree with all of your points again this week. The loan system is flawed, Liverpool vs. Chelsea is not a thrilling prospect and the gap between the Prem and the Championship is too great (possibly linked into the fact that their loan players return to their imminent rivals upon promotion to the Prem?) I also agree that local footballers are gobby - especially me . . . but that's what journalism is based upon; gobby people and their opinions/actions!
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Josh P,

19/03/2008 16:56:05
Raph, I bet you are a Chelsea fan and just scared of facing Liverpool only to loose again... Ha Ha...

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R.James,

P,boro 20/03/2008 13:23:41
Have we managed to slide another attempt at journalism past the editor Mr Swann, now not being in a position to air my own lack of self esteem to as wide a spectrum as yourself Mr Swann I do feel a slight injustice has again been shown in your column, you missed the ideal opportunity to use a back handed compliment to yourself this week, indeed you never even implied that although these local footballers are gobby the referee's like yourself can handle these oiks.

Shame really Mr Swann, your self importance has missed the opportunity.
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Peter Borian,

20/03/2008 18:29:14
Why slag Hereford off for using loan players, Posh did it regularly for about a decade whilst under the managership of "The Legend" that is Barry Fry, good luck to them, they are obviously a well run family club, surviving on small gates, and matching Posh every step of the way, a team that is "buying" a promotion on the back of a semi-illiterate, foulmouthed, property developer.
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