Footballer Frank Lampard was described as 'brave' for converting a penalty in the Champions League semi-final least week, while Joe Perry, who did the area proud in the World Snooker Championships, also had his 'bravery' praised for coming through a final frame decider in the quarter-final against Stephen Maguire.

Lampard certainly showed coolness under extreme pressure and displayed plenty of bottle, but that would have been the case even if he wasn't still mourning the death of his beloved mother.

Anyway Lampard is such a highly skilled and subsequently highly-paid professional he should beat a goalkeeper from 12 yards out, something he does with monotonous regularity, but that doesn't make him brave or even courageous as there is no physical risk involved.

Jump jockeys are brave to try and persuade useless giant horses to jump huge fences, speedway riders are brave to ride round in circles using only their feet as brakes and boxers are brave (and probably very stupid) to get in the ring with fellow psychopaths.

It's not a word that should ever be used to describe footballers (unless you were facing Roy Keane at his nastiest) and it should certainly never be used to describe snooker players.


OTHER random irritations from last week's Champions League meetings:

AS soon as Paul Scholes scored for Manchester United against Barcelona I knew we were in for some tiresome tributes aimed at the ginger ninja when the truth is that he is so far past his sell by date I'm amazed Environmental Health officials haven't closed him down.

That goal was his first since August. If he plays in the final, even aging veteran Claude Makele will be licking his lips at facing an opponent he can actually keep pace with.


I CAUGHT a few minutes of the United game on BBC radio, but turned off when pundit Mark Lawrenson said: "that Victor Valdez he inspires confidence - NOT!"

I may be old fashioned but I don't switch on the BBC to hear adults talking like chavvy teenagers. Maybe by next season Lawrenson, a failed football manager don't forget, will have matured enough to talk in txt spk.

Even so I suspect that high profile commentator Alan Green will still be using his position to humiliate players and officials rather than commentate on the action. Maybe Green doesn't know there's no pictures on radio