The world's biggest and longest dopeathon has long been meaningless in my eyes.

Two weeks of blanket television coverage of events that even Eurosport don't normally touch followed by two weeks of trying to guess which athlete is on the strongest drugs in the running races – usually the ones who end up on the podium, crying their eyes out at a national anthem, while working out how rich they can now become.

All of this will be made more annoying by the jingoistic approach of the BBC's absurdly overblown and uniquely untalented commentators. Mind you I wouldn't want the job of trying to make gymnastics, cycling and shooting interesting.

The diving events are likely to be ludicrously sensationalised thanks to the presence of a 14 year-old boy in the GB team even though he has no hope of a medal.

Laughably some of the highest paid sportsmen in the world will be at the once proudly amateur Games to play football and tennis.

Mind you the British team are managing to fight professionalism pretty well.

Boxer Frankie Gavin was pulled out because he can't make his lightweight limit – how the hell does that happen in these days of nutritionists and highly-qualified sporting scientists?

And will he be paying back the £70,000 of funding he received to prepare for the Games?



MIND you that 14 year-old, Tom Daley, at least looked like he enjoyed the spectacular opening ceremony (I can't imagine London producing something quite as stunning in 2012).

Tennis player Andrew Murray's body language suggested he'd rather be anywhere else than in Beijing representing his country, something of course that shouldn't surprise anyone as he chose practice ahead of a Davis Cup tie earlier this year.

AS usual the prospects of a Great Britain football team in the 2012 Olympics in Britain have been scuppered by the football associations of the Celtic nations.

No-one should be surprised by this, but as any honestly-selected GB team would be entirely English now that Ryan Giggs is past it, it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference.



SO Cristiano Ronaldo has graciously deigned to stay at Old Trafford for 'at least one more year'.

Well I hope football fans all over the country see through this fake display of temporary loyalty. He has 'agreed' to stay because he had no choice.

The boy has successfully exposed himself as a typical footballer on the make. He cares no more for Manchester United than I care for Cambridge United.

I'd love it if the United faithful booed him on his return appearance. The self-centred prima donna would probably burst into tears before stamping his feet and taking his ball home.