So we now live in a world where Danny Drinkwater, a player with one good season in his career, is worth a £35 million transfer fee.
Except he’s not really worth it. No more than Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is worth the £35 million Liverpool paid for him.
And don’t get me started on Everton paying £45 million for Gylfi Sigurdsson, a lovely player, but not one who is ever going to take a big game by the scruff of the neck and justify that sort of fee.
The clubs are so rich now thanks to a bonkers television deal, they are splashing cash with reckless abandon.
Ordinary players - Fernando Llorente, £15 million from Swansea to Spurs anyone? - and grasping agents must be laughing their heads off and rubbing their hands in glee at the money now on offer for kicking a bag of wind around with erratic consistency.
There is too much stupidity in professional football. Too many half-wits are in charge of budgets. How else do you explain the mad, frantic dash on transfer deadline day, surely one of the ugliest 24 hours in the sporting calendar?
What do clubs do all summer if they are not building a squad capable of challenging for honours?
The Premier League season was only three games old and yet panic buying was in full swing, to the delight of unthinking fans who gullibly believe splashing out big money is a precurser to success.
The unfathomable pursuit of Oxlade-Chamberlain, a 24-year-old with no idea what his best position is, by both Liverpool and Chelsea was the prime example of such lunacy. He’d be a fringe player at both clubs. It’s an awful lot of money to spend on a player who will start Carabao Cup matches and dead Champions League games.
At least the transfer of the Ox provoked the funniest moment of the window with a certain football presenter claiming the player should be applauded for accepting a lower wage at Anfield than he would have received by staying at Arsenal. I suspect £120,000 a week will keep Oxlade-Chamberlain away from food banks.
Manchester United were clear Premier League winners of the transfer window purely by completing their business early. I can imagine Jose Mourinho was sat on his hotel sofa on August 31 purring with pleasure as Manchester City weighed up a bid for journeyman Jonny Evans and Spurs threw £42 million at an Ajax player I’d never heard of.
Fourteen clubs broke their club record transfer fee in August. Liverpool broke theirs on Naby Keite who won’t even arrive until next season.
Brighton and Huddersfield broke their transfer records three times in what will be vain attempts to stay up, while little old Bournemouth managed to find £18 million to sign average centre-back Nathan Ake and lumbering midfielder Sam Clucas joined Swansea for £16.5 million.
I’m not sure I want to live in this world. It’s too mad.