SWANNY’S WORLD OF SPORT: Meet the biggest schmucks in sport

David Haye is no Ali.
David Haye is no Ali.
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Boxing fans must be the biggest schmucks in world sport.

Thanks to them two over-rated, over-hyped, talent-free jokers raked in almost £7 million between them for a comedy bout last weekend.

Tony Bellew celebrates a hollow victory.

Tony Bellew celebrates a hollow victory.

Every time the pre-fight pantomime involving threats of violence, death threats and torture fools the gullible and the voyueristic into parting with their hard-earned cash.

And every time a fight will end with the protagonists professing undying love for each other, swapping phone numbers and probably arranging to go on holiday together.

At least when the WWE stage similar silliness they don’t try and hide the fakery. It’s a bit of a laugh watching body-builders in skimpy trunks play the hard man.

Boxing is shameless. I wonder how the family and friends of Mike Towell felt when listening to David Haye tell Tony Bellew he was planning to ‘cave his skull in’ before a heavyweight fight that didn’t even have a title for the winner. Towell lost his life in a fight last year. He was hit on the head and suffered bleeding on the brain.

Look out, Tyson Fury is threatening a comeback.

Look out, Tyson Fury is threatening a comeback.

Still what does that matter when there are £16 TV Box Office tickets to flog to the hard of thinking?

Haye v Bellew was just a fund-raising fight for two second-class scrappers coming to the end of their careers. It wasn’t exactly Sugar Ray Leonard v Roberto Duran 0r Ali v Joe Frazier.

Haye fancies himself as Ali. He does the arrogance bit well, but he lacks the wit, personality, and the fighting skills, to come close to pulling it off.

Ali could back his bravado up with brilliance. Haye had six rounds to batter a blown-up cruiserweight before his ankle gave way and failed miserably. His trademark ‘Hayemaker’ punch kept missing a pretty big target.

Anthony Joshua (right) is a real boxing talent.

Anthony Joshua (right) is a real boxing talent.

And as for Bellew?, His struggles to dump a bloke, who could barely stand up, on his backside were embarrassing.

Ultimately he was rescued by Haye’s corner who threw in the towel, about five rounds too late if you ask me.

The TV commentators trying to claim this result was a shock to rival Mike Tyson v Buster Douglas were equally embarrassing. Breathless hype is a promoter’s job, not the job of supposedly impartial broadcasters.

Do the most-hyped fights ever live up to expectation? Floyd Mayweather’s clash with Manny Pacquiao would have sent a glass eye to sleep.

The weekend battle between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Tyrone Mings possessed more accuracy, feeling and power than Haye v Bellew.

Let’s face it Anthony Joshua could beat Haye and Bellew on the same night. At the same time probably.

And just when you thought the so-called ‘noble art’ couldn’t get any less noble, along comes Tyson Fury to announce he is ready to give up pies and step back in the ring.

Marvellous. Another dimwit who thinks he’s funny and erudite. He’ll fool the schmucks with money to burn though.