Alan Swann: on Luton, Andy Murray and what to do when Posh aren't playing on a Saturday
THINGS to do when Posh aren't playing on a Saturday . . .
THINGS to do when Posh aren't playing on a Saturday . . .Go and watch a Peterborough League Premier Division football match. I took in the top-of-the-table clash between Fletton and Rutland Rangers (it's more interesting than it sounds, honestly) and thoroughly enjoyed a match free of prima donnas, time-wasters, diving conmen and mental managers, excellently refereed by a smiling official.
Indeed Fletton must have the most laid-back manager in football. His reaction to his side scoring a crucial goal was not to run up and down the touchline thumping the air, but to light another fag (he was among the substitutes) and check his football betting coupon.
Or . . . catch the genius football broadcaster that is Jeff Stelling on Sky's Soccer Saturday show and compare his accurate brilliance and razor-sharp wit with the scripted banalities of the 'experts' on Match of the Day.
Or . . . watch Channel Four's horse racing coverage. It's funny, informative and presented by knowledgable fellows who don't ram their opinions down your throat (McCririck is the exception that proved the rule).
Channel Four's coverage of the Cheltenham Festival is awesome and the sooner they take control of the Grand National meeting the better. That would have the added bonus of losing Claire Balding from our screens – a woman who looks like a man shouldn't really try and make comedy out of winning jockeys with bad teeth.
THINGS not to do when Posh aren't playing on a Saturday . . .
Watch rugby union, even if it is a European Cup quarter-final. I have no idea what's happened to the laws of the game, but surely changes weren't made to encourage teams to play kick and chase in an attempt to win penalties.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Keith Alexander turns up as coach of the Leicester Tigers soon.
Nor . . . watch the US Masters coverage for six hours. This is another event that needs to be in the hands of the Sky professionals.
Presenter Gary Lineker is an autocue reading numpty who values his chumminess with the competitors more than he does the need to ask penetrating questions.
And lead commentator Peter Allis may be a wonderful wordsmith, but does he have to criticise the pace and slopes on the Augusta greens every year?
I HAVE a confession to make. I've turned into quite a fan of unpatriotic tennis player Andy Murray.
He may dislike the English football team and treat Davis Cup weekends as times of rest, but there's no denying he's pretty good at the game.
With Roger Federer fading fast, Rafa Nadal's body likely to explode at any time and Djokovic mentally fragile, Murray is a Grand Slam winner and world number one of the near future.
LUTON fans tried to hijack this column again ignoring my long-winded rant about Wembley and the England national football side to take exception to the phrase 'no-hope Luton' which opened the piece.
Sorry Hatters fans, but it's a fact. Winning a competition that didn''t interest the likes of Chester and Chesterfield proves nothing and the fact that you are too lowly ranked to defend it next season shows how far you have fallen.
And I couldn't care less that you took 38,000 fans to Wembley to witness your last hurrah.
I bet you don't take 380 to Crawley or Forest Green next season, although I expect you to pack out your end at the local derby in Stevenage, unless of course they take your place in the Football League.
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How dare you insult two clubs with as much history as Luton Town and Leeds United. When Posh go up I'm sure you will realise what a rubbish club you are, when playing against the likes of Bristol City, Swansea etc.
Rob Price
Your comments re-Luton Town FC annoyed me.
Luton is not a 'no-hope club'. When your club is in the position that ours is in, hope is the main thing you can have. We are actually stronger now in terms of support and management then at any time in the last few decades. There is plenty of hope for the future.
You intimate that the only thrill for Luton fans is away from their team. Watch the game from Wembley against Scunthorpe, that shows the kind of passion that our team can generate amongst our fans. We need nothing else.
Adam Livesy
'A no-hope club like Luton or Leeds'?
Shouldn't that be clubs that have been punished by the league, unlike other clubs which seem able to bend the rules to within an inch of breaking them (3 million sponsorship deal anyone?).
Anyway, enjoy next season, it'll be the one when your chairman finally realises that you'll only ever be a small-town, small-time club. We'll be sure to remember your inflated self-opinion and arrogance when you're on the way back down.
Tim Lovejoy
Appreciation
Society
Y200 for three people to go to Wembley? Someone must've seen you coming.
Free parking at Cannons Park, fiver on the tube and 30 to watch the match - only mugs would buy food in a ground, even at Posh.
It wasn't the best night's entertainment, and your average 'football fan' at Wembley makes even those windowlickers on Londonroad.net look like soccer experts, which is saying something.
Pikelet
It does make one wonder how Peterborough would be described if clubs with such a colourful history like Leeds Utd are described as 'no hoper.' Even Luton have achieved things in their history that little old Peterborough never will.
However, if by 'no-hope' you mean clubs who have been unfairly treated by the FA and Football League authorities than your attitude towards the situations at both clubs is mind-boggingly ignorant considering your position as a 'respected' journalist.
I find it worrying you are not slightly concerned by the current chairman at Peterborough simply bankrolling the club.
Does this not concern you in terms of sustainability for the future?
What would happen should he get bored and want out of such a pitifully supported club and walk out?
Would Peterborough be left with life-long Luton Town fan Barry Fry trying to rescue them again? Do you not concede considering your views towards Luton Town's predicament last summer it would be hugely ironic should the same fate befall Peterborough United in the future?
Nick Manley
Comments about 'no hope' clubs from a 'no hope' Fleet Street wannabe.
Why does a decent publication like this allow this child to continually rant about his juvenile likes and dislikes?
Surely even the cleaning staff can write better articles than this?
Simon Arnold
Waterlooville
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