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Alan Swann: on Andy Murray, Dwain Chambers, Owais Shah and Test cricket audiences
SAFEST bet of 2009 is that Andy Murray will be fit and well for the next tournament with big personal ranking points at stake.
SAFEST bet of 2009 is that Andy Murray will be fit and well for the next tournament with big personal ranking points at stake.But put good money on the fact that he will not be fit for Great Britain's next Davis Cup outing which takes place just after the US Open finishes, against Outer Mongolia or Andorra probably.
I don't know why Murray doesn't just admit that he's a selfish, stubborn egotist and that his country means nothing to him, rather than just letting us think that is the case.
No doubt he will expect support from the nation at Wimbledon. He shouldn't get it until he shows some support in return.
I SEE the assortment of half-wits and know-nothings who wanted Owais Shah to bat at number three for England have gone quiet.
Shah has been a rabbit in the headlights even though he's been faced with the worst bowling attack in West Indian Test history and the flattest pitches the Caribbean has ever seen.
Remarkably in these days of super-fitness standards Shah had to retire hurt the other day because he had cramp in his fingers. Clearly he's not used to batting for more than an hour.
Shah was preferred to Ravi Bopara who had smashed a ton in his previous Test innings, proving that England's selection is as muddled as ever.
Meanwhile Australia just go about their business of producing new stars like Phil Hughes (two tons in an innings against South Africa) and Marcus North (a ton on his debut, also against a team which is now supposed to be the best in the world).
The Ashes are as good as won. Our stars are more interested in getting rich than getting even.
AND is it any surprise that few locals are watching the current Test series? It has produced the most boring cricket since Boycott retired.
But Boycott was more watchable than Shivnarine Chanderpaul. There cannot ever have been an uglier batsman, from the way he stands at the crease to the way he religiously lets the ball go.
I don't blame the West Indies for trying to win their first Test series in five years by any means possible, but they've managed to do it in a style that will make the sport even more unpopular.
FUNNIEST story of the weekend was a supposedly serious one linking Manchester United centre-back Nemanja Vidic to AC Milan.
Hmmm, swapping the best club team in the world who play in the richest league in the world for a team of fading no-marks who play in the most corrupt league in the world would be an interesting career choice.
As this week's Champions League matches will prove, English football is now too fast, too skilful and even too technical for Serie A sides.
I MUST confess the extracts from drug cheat Dwain Chambers' autobiography published last week were fascinating.
But it saddens me that someone so obnoxious should be enriched by admitting actions that still shame a sport.
In some quarters Chambers has been praised for lifting the lid on the deceptions involved in beating an inadequate drug-testing system.
Admittedly the chapters that will wipe the smug grins off the faces of Christine Ohuruogo (the most absent-minded innocent athlete of all-time) and Sebastian Coe (a silly man who still believes the Olympics will prove value for money) are good fun.
But as Chambers is a confirmed liar, how can anyone believe a word in such a self-serving piece of literature?
The only good to come out of it will hopefully be the banning of Chambers from wearing the GB vest again.FA Cup weekends are so boring. The Premier League might have an irritatingly high amount of 0-0 draws, but there is usually enough going on to grab my attention, even if most of it revolves around incompetent referees and idiot commentators.
The Cup has been robbed of its magic by insane scheduling and indifference from the clubs – not the biggest ones, but middling teams like Blackburn and Hull, who have apparently forgotten that a team as bad as Portsmouth won the competition last season thanks to an absurd amount of good fortune.
I couldn't even watch a game over the weekend thanks to ITV's hopeless scheduling and an absence of Setanta in my household, something that won't change while Craig Burley (a man who achieves the impossible by making Andy Gray seem erudite) continues to be employed.
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Wednesday 23 May 2012
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