"There are downsides?" I inquired, with an expression of genuine dismay.

When I asked him what he was referring to he paused for moment. It was a very long moment. It was one of those moments when you can almost see and hear the creaking cogs of a human brain at work.

After much vexed deliberation he replied: "Well. Urm. There's . . . Urm. There's . . . going out for a night. There you go. I don't get out much these days.

"When I was married I had someone to share an evening out with. Now I've got no one to talk to, and you look like a right saddo if you go out for a meal on your own."

The poor misguided fool. I resolved to set him (and you dear readers) straight on a couple of things.

Firstly, have you all forgotten the rows, no sorry "discussions", you had about what food you were going to eat i.e she wants a romantic Italian restaurant, he wants a curry house.

Then there were the quarrels about who was going to drive.

At this point, every man is floored by a woman's instant memory retrieval that can pinpoint specific dates, times and venues.

"So you see, I drove the last time."

Then there were the negotiations over whether or not to go for starters and main course (the male choice) or main course and dessert (the female preference).

Having convinced me it was my turn to play "chauffer for the night" quarrel with her instant memory retrieval, I would strike back on this issue with: "You know that if you splurge out on Death By Chocolate or Tiramisu you will be wracked with self-loathing for the next six weeks. Remember a moment on the lips etc."

On top of all this bickering about chauffeuring and what meal to eat, I would ask all fellow MADmen to cast their tidy minds back to when they had to blow a small fortune on a bottle of over-priced wine because you didn't want to appear a total skinflint in front of your partner by trying to fob her off with the house white.

Then, at the end of the meal, you would feel indignant about having to pay a service charge for what was, at best, mediocre service. And then you would probably be accused of being a meanie for not giving a big enough tip.

You see, you're better off on your own.

Anyway, why would you want to pay through the nose for a Chinese you could probably get out of a carton and microwave in a third of the time?