Kids are allergic to anything that involves museums, people in traditional dress per- forming centuries old dance routines round poles and whacking each other with pig bladders, architecture, long country walks, historic houses, quaint shops full of antiquities, gardens or haystacks in fields.
Kids are averse to any cultural location that appears on a tea towel.
When trying to keep the kids entertained during the six weeks holiday, the firstly rule of thumb is forget culture. After all, the summer holidays are supposed to be the opposite of going to school.
But I don't believe that education should stop at August's door. The frugal among you should also note that culture comes relatively cheap.
Theme parks and amusement arcades cost a small fortune, but museums are free and, for a budget-conscious single parent, you can satisfy yourself that your children are getting an additional educational boost while saving you some precious pennies.
Although you may have to off-set the moaning you get by dragging them round museums by bribing them with McDonald's later, thereby blowing your budget.
If you're looking for culture (free museums), I'd suggest heading to London.
OK so some of them have uninspiring names like the Museum of Garden History and the British Dental Association Museum. Others have names that are bizarre and slightly misleading.
Take the Horniman Museum in London. Yes that's the Horni Man Museum (guffaw), which bills itself as a free "family friendly museum with exhibits from around the world to delight adults and children alike".
The Natural History Museum and the Science Museum are right next door to each other at South Kensington Tube in London. They are free, fascinating and will easily consume a couple of days.
Plus, at long last, a venue that recognises that a modern-day family can comprise a single parent and two kids. The visually-stunning, four-London bus big IMAX cinema at the Science Museum has family tickets for one adult, two children at £18.
I must not overlook our own
Peterborough Museum, which is free, and boasts Peterborough's most haunted building, with at least eight different ghosts said to haunt the place.
And finally, if you really want to watch the pennies there's always camping.
A "bracing" week of being squashed into a tent with two boys, one who is big enough now to get summer jobs in the police force, may be considered purgatory by some, but think of the savings you'll make and all that healthy fresh air you can take in.
And after you've endured the A47 queues, wrestled with the tent, burnt the beans on the camping stove, forced the kids off to bed after covering them head to toe in insect repellent and cleared
away the camping stove you can lay back, look at the stars and open a bottle of red wine to celebrate still being awake.
The full article contains 487 words and appears in Peterborough ET newspaper.