As well as being a brilliant sportsman, according to those at ET Towers who have had dealings with him, he's also a great guy.

Before he set off for China, Louis, who is a genuine medal hope, agreed to pose for some pictures for the ET.

Deputy chief photographer David Lowndes was duly dispatched and returned with some great shots of Louis, including this impromptu one that was taken in a nearby country lane.

The editor was pleased with the result but the colour swiftly drained from his face when a sombre-looking David informed him that sadly, in posing for the pictures, Louis had slipped and hurt himself and was now a major doubt for the games.

It was, of course, a joke, but might explain why at Telegraph Towers we have a sign that reads: "Don't feed the photographers.''

Tis the sesason to be silly. . .
In the newspaper industry, this time of year is known as the silly season as news is a bit thin on the ground.

Which explains why you may have been reading stories about UFOs and "think pieces'' comparing the holiday wardrobes of Messrs Brown and Cameron.

We at Telegraph Towers are not immune from this phenomenon. Come to think of it, we're not averse to a bit of silliness at any time of the year (has anybody seen that wallaby in Ferry Meadows yet?).

With all the truly horrible stories to report on, we believe a bit of whimsy never goes amiss.

As ever, truth is stranger than fiction and many genuine stories are so bizarre that if we do have little green men spying on us they'll be scratching their heads in bewilderment.

Take today's ET as an example. There's a pensioner who has received a demand to pay a parking fine – when he's never had a ticket.

Then there's the bridegroom dressed as Dracula and a man wearing a see-through dress from Rod & Maureen's shop in Westgate Arcade.

But all this madness is effortlessly topped by the jobsworths who have refused passports to Ravensthorpe twins Darcy and Omega Russell.

The girls – British born and bred – have had to endure some tough times, not least the death of their mum. All their guardian Heidi Lovley wants to do is take them on holiday. But a wrangle over the 12-year-olds' citizenship is proving hard to resolve.

A faceless civil servant explained: "British citizenship is a matter of law and therefore not one over which the Identity and Passport Service has any discretion.''

Maybe so, but if that's true, the law is an ass. And a silly one, at that.

Time to nuke nuisance newts
Another Peterborough housing development is set to be delayed because of those pesky great-crested newts.

A plan to build homes on the site of the former John Mansfield School could be scuppered if, as is thought, a colony of the protected critters lives there.

The newts made national news when developers at Hampton had to spend vast amounts of money to give them a new home.

What puzzles me is if these newts are so endangered how come they keep popping up all over the place?

Mind you, if I was the boss of the Brewery Tap, which is set to be demolished to make way for the North Westgate development, I might be tempted to "find'' a few newts in the cellar...

If you can survive Corby . . .
Peterborough survival expert Andrew Shaw can start
a fire with a piece of chocolate and an empty can of pop. He can fashion string out of stinging nettles and make "coffee''
out of dandelion root.

Now he's holding beginners' courses to show people how to survive in the wild. The location for these courses is a wood just outside Corby.
Is there any truth in the rumour the advanced course is held in Corby town centre?