I'm lucky enough to live in an area where gangs of yobs don't hang round street corners and won't use Halloween as an excuse for their own brand of state-sponsored terrorism.

The only anti-social behaviour I've been victim to was Halloween last year, when my door and car were sprayed with that silly string stuff.

As you will have guessed, I didn't answer my door on Halloween last year either. And why should I?

Trick or treating irritates me, not least because it is another unwanted import from American culture.

Trick or treating infuriates me, because it is little more than begging.

What sort of message is it for children that you can hold your hand out, and if you don't get something for nothing, you have the right to take revenge?

It's not harmless fun, it's anti-social behaviour.

Even so, if a neighbour's kids knocked on my door and had dressed up and made an effort, I would give them some cash or sweets.

But it's not neighbour's kids, it's a money-making sweep of the area by total strangers.

And I don't care if they are accompanied by "a responsible adult" who seems to think that by grinning like a loon behind their kids, little Asbo and Chardonnay-Pryncess, it makes the whole tawdry process okay.

In America, Halloween is big business, but it's also strictly regulated, with a genuine community buy-in.

It wasn't always so. On November 1, 1938, The Reno Evening Gazette carried a story comparing young trick or treaters in Nevada to a Mafia protection racket, with the headline: ''Youngsters Shake Down Residents".

Related:
Trick or treat: Halloween kids menace diners - Download your 'no trick or treat' poster. 30 October 2008.
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Russell Brand? He's our own fault

I guess the biggest insult you can pay a comedian is "you're not funny''.

Russell Brand, you're not funny.

The shaggy haired "funnyman" is in hot water for his by now infamous phone calls to Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs and obscene comments about his grand-daughter.

In this, Brand was aided and abetted by Jonathan Ross. He's not a comedian. He's also not funny.

Their behaviour has sparked widespread outrage, with even the Prime Minister weighing in.

The furore is no doubt fuelled by the fact the pair earn huge amounts funded by the taxpayer via the BBC.

But the reason why they earn so much is because they are very popular – with the rest of us.

And let's face it, they may have overstepped the mark with their latest stunt – but oafish, laddish humour is what they do. If we encourage them – and their pay packets prove we do – isn't our outrage hypocritical and sanctimonious?

For now, everyone is claiming they don't and never have liked the pair. But that's a bit like in the '80s when people used to wear badges saying "I didn't vote for Maggie".

But somebody did. In fact most of us did... and more than once.

The real story here is not these two twerps, it's not even the general decline in standards, it's that our political and cultural leaders have for too long been happy to stand aside and let it happen.

If they lost votes and viewers they'd think again. It's in our hands.