All of these things could land you with a fine if you were caught doing them in Peterborough city centre.

Some might think we're heading for a police state – except, of course, the police don't get their hands dirty with such trivial stuff these days. It's left to the likes of wardens and PCSOs to dish out these fixed penalty notices.

Don't get me wrong, litter louts, illegal smokers and the rest should be hit where it hurts – in the pocket. The "I'm All Right Jack, Stuff You Pal'' brigade has held sway in this country for far too long.

My concern is not that these people are being fined – it's that they are not paying them.

Robert Hammond, from Orton Goldhay, didn't pay the £50 fixed penalty notice he got when he failed to scoop up the poop his pooch had deposited on a city playing field.

He probably regrets that now, as, after being taken to court, he was hit with a £315 bill in fines and costs. But will he pay it?

Lots of people end up in court for non-payment of fines, and some even get the ultimate sanction and end up in jail. But all that means is the tax-payer is out of pocket again.

The idea of on-the-spot fines and marching drunken yobs to cash machines was ridiculed a little while back.

It had its merits though, in that it was attempting to address the problem of collecting the fines.

I witnessed a PCSO handing out a ticket to a lad for riding his bike in the city centre. From the conversation, it was clear the PCSO suspected the lad had given him a false name and address.

If he was right, that fixed penalty notice was not worth the paper it was written on. I fear it's not the only one.

Spending a penny just got to be an expensive business

So the council has decided to charge people 20p to use the toilets at Car Haven and Northminster.

And if 20p means we can have "a clean and safe environment',' then I think that's a small price to pay. But don't these toilets already provide "a clean and safe environment?"

Thousands of pounds have been spent providing those facilities, and they already have cleaning attendants.

So what's to improve and what's extra to pay for?

The decision, the council tells us, was taken after a "consultation''.

What form did this consultation take? Did the council ask city residents: "We provide you with a free service, would you like to pay 20p for it instead?''

I guess they did, and, because the council would obviously not ignore the results of a "consultation,'' the people they asked must have been flushed with cash and said "yes'' to the increase.

Who's on thin ice?

The paparazzi are not often spotted stalking celebrities on the streets of Peterborough. But even so you have to watch out because ET snappers are here, there and everywhere. I've even had to dive for cover on the odd occasion myself.

The latest victim was a leading city citizen who was "papped'' by The ET and caught with his trousers tucked in his socks.