The video will be based on the theme of the Seven Deadly Sins and no doubt Spalding-based Kelly's qualities will be useful for the "lust'' bit.

Hopefully, the partnership will be a success and we can all look forward to some big hits in the future.

Cruella de Vil armed with a paintbrush
Me and my Special Friend are one of the world's great double acts. We deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Morecambe and Wise and Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote.

Guess who's the one who always gets his face slapped or lands face-first at the bottom of a cliff with a stick of dynamite hanging out of his backside?

The clue is in the word "his''. And, yes, before you ask, I do have short, fat, hairy legs. Well, maybe not fat, but definitely short and hairy.

Anyway, our double act was on top form last week when we took what I laughingly refer to as a "holiday''. Not for us a sunny Caribbean beach or a cultural trip to a European capital.

No, we spent it at home. Decorating the kitchen. After a week of that, not only was I glad to get back to work, I also had a fair idea of what it must be like to be one of Formula 1 boss Max Moseley's little helpers.

I discovered that put a paintbrush in her hand and MSF turns into Cruella de Vil.

I'd suggested it was something she might like to D-I-H (Do-It Herself) but, oh no, it's one of those things we have to do together "because we're a couple''.

I don't make her watch football, drink beer or watch Aerobics Oz Style with me. In fact, I positively discourage her participation. So why is it that all the things we have to do together are the ones I don't want to do?

Anyway, as resistance is futile, I grabbed my paintbrush and got to work

There followed three days of heated exchanges, punctuated by long silences and half-hearted conciliatory hugs.

Amazingly, the job got done, even though at one point I playfully dunked her head in a giant tub of Dulux gloss. "That should finish you off,'' I quipped.

We should get the rest of the house finished just before the decree absolute comes through.

Keepers of the faith
Well done to all the youngsters who took part in the Junior Alliance League Cup Finals.

Judging by the reports and pictures in the ET's eight-page special on Tuesday it looked a great day.

My favourite picture was this one of Nene Valley Tigers' Matisa Zivotic. If he carries on in this style, the flying keeper, who was man of the match in the Under-Nine Final, could single-handedly revive that old sporting cliché "leaping like a salmon''.

Matisa kept a clean sheet, but he wasn't the only one. The under-9 final was goalless after extra time as was the under-12 final and one goal was enough to decide the under-10 contest between Deeping Blue and Bourne Blue.

Three games and only one goal...