Kev Lawrence: Make no mistake – the Germans are still out before daybreak
MAKE no mistake – the Germans are still out before daybreak, bagsying the best sun loungers with their "my towel's on here, so it's mine" trick.
MAKE no mistake – the Germans are still out before daybreak, bagsying the best sun loungers with their "my towel's on here, so it's mine" trick.They've done it for years, of course, and yet no matter how early I went to bed during my recent Gran Canaria holiday, I never once managed a front row recliner by the pool.
Our hotel was 99 per cent occupied by German guests – and while most were great fun, some were not. Some were just plain weird.
Like the overweight couple, who happened to eat at the same time as us, and at the very next table to us, more or less every night. Watching them wreak havoc with the international buffet was incredible. I tried not to stare as they built food mountains on their plates, before prodding, stabbing, and shovelling it into their mouths as fast as they could swallow.
One tracksuited German lady, named Ellen, who was completely unable to smile at anything, knocked me out of both the tennis and the Petanque competition. It was made worse for me by the fact that she didn't gloat, or look happy, she just said "Danke" and searched for her next opponent.
Her husband, who had a huge brown belly hanging out from under his T-shirt, gave me a sweet source of revenge, though, when I dismantled him in the table tennis final (men's). However, my glory in this mustn't be overstated, because there were only five other competitors, and three of them were well past the age of 70.
I wish I knew why German people don't like laughing, or showing emotion. At night, when the cheap cabaret were doing their thing, the dance floor would be packed with smartly dressed retired German couples, and yet, while dancing, they all looked miserable. Others would sit glued to their chairs, staring into space, waiting for the world to end.
And out on the golf course, I got paired up with two German men, and one Austrian. Peter, the Austrian, was relaxed and smiling all the way round, while the two German guys just seemed angry.
Despite being irked by the traits of many of my fellow guests, getting away for a bit of winter sunshine was fantastic, and well worth saving up through the year for. As Peterborough shivered, I was in my shorts golfing; or getting a lesson on the shaded hotel tennis court; or staring in disbelief at how fast another human can eat. Pure joy – for a week at least.
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Weather for Peterborough
Saturday 20 March 2010
Today
Light showers
Temperature: 3 C - 13 C
Wind Speed: 19 Knots
Wind direction: South west
Tomorrow
Sunny
Temperature: 3 C - 13 C
Wind Speed: 10 Knots
Wind direction: South west
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