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Peter Rook: The 'glamour' of speed dating
I first came across speed dating while watching an episode of Sex and the City (don't ask me why I was watching such drivel).
I first came across speed dating while watching an episode of Sex and the City (don't ask me why I was watching such drivel).But don't expect speed dating in Peterborough to be quite as glamorous as the speed dating scenes in Sex and the City.
Women with fanciful notions of meeting wealthy bankers and lawyers may have to settle for Colin from accounts at Pearl or Dave who lives with his mum and dad in Dogsthorpe.
Living with your parents in your 30s and 40s was considered the hallmark of a "loser". Not necessarily any more. Many MADmen, who have split from their partners, have to go back to living with their parents.
I have remarked previously on the growing trend of divorced dads returning to mum's and dad's home assuming they have done the honourable thing and let the ex and the kids stay in the marital home with the financial capital in the house locked up.
So don't hold this against your date if he says he lives with mum and dad.
The time limit at speed dating presents a number of problems for MADmen. I have heard it said that to please a woman you must appreciate, cherish, compliment, nurture, commit to, cuddle, beguile, enchant, enthral, entice, serenade, spoil, respect, stroke, understand and worship her. That's a lot to do in a four-minute speed date.
Also, if you're a divorce in your 30s, 40s and 50s you will have a lot of information about yourself to pack in to those four minutes.
It's best not to go overboard with detail and don't go overboard with the compliments too. That applies to both men and women.
If a man compliments a woman too much she will only think he is after one thing and if a woman compliments a man too much he probably won't be listening anyway. Remember if you can hold a man's attention for four minutes he can officially be labelled "a good listener".
Women worried about looking good at a speed date should not make too much effort to look their very best. (It is a fallacy that men lust after attractive women.) Mentally most men like pin-ups, but after they have been divorced for a long time they'll often settle for anything they can pin down.
Besides, most men don't like women who are too attractive, which is why we see so many famous female celebrities bemoaning the fact that they are still unattached. Some men want their women just ugly enough so they won't run off with the local gym instructor or Colin from accounts at Pearl.
Speed dating is particularly good for the singleton reborn who has been through a divorce and wants to avoid the whole time-consuming rigmarole of getting to know someone, falling in love, getting married and then discovering that they are utterly incompatible.
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Saturday 04 February 2012
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