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Peter Rook: on metrosexual tendencies
I have metrosexual tendencies, apparently. My admission last week that I indulge in candlelit baths is an indication that I'm a "metrosexual".
I have metrosexual tendencies, apparently.
My admission last week that I indulge in candlelit baths is an indication that I'm a "metrosexual". It's a term that you may not be familiar with. It is usually applied to youthful heterosexual men who take a glowing pride in their appearance – the kind of pride usually attributed to buff gay men.
Considering how long my boys spend dousing themselves in deodorant and gelling up their hair in the mirror, metrosexuality is no fiction.
A true metrosexual will know what a manicure, pedicure, facial or exfoliation is and would have probably done one, some, or all of them.
I can honestly say that I haven't, but the change in acceptable male behaviour has left middle-aged men with something of a dilemma.
For our fathers, and our fathers' fathers, the concept of manhood was clear and unmuddled. They could be hairy-chested, pint drinkers who never interacted with their children and could break wind in front of the missus without apologising. We often talk about days gone by when men were men and women were glad of it.
But we middle-aged males are trapped between the generational transition from the sexist, neanderthal-esque mindset of our forefathers and the more preening, pampered habits of our offspring, who can legitimately have girls as best friends.
Striking a happy balance between the two ain't easy, but I think we can pick up a few metrosexual manners and mannerisms and reject others without feeling too emasculated.
I'm not in the slightest bit interested in designer clothes and you would not get me near a sadistic beauty therapist for a back, sack and crack wax. I do not own, and never would own, a manbag (aka a purse). But my suitcase does have wheels, which is supposedly a sign of metrosexuality, (though, personally, I'd say that is just practicality).
I also moisturise. My skin gets so dry these days. I have been known to eat quiche on occasions (and salad) and I do own a smoothie maker (what's even more remarkable is that I actually use the smoothie maker).
I have also been known to shave a few wisps of hair from my back (I might just be divulging a little bit too much information here).
For those of you who think this is clear evidence of my metrosexuality, I read a book recently about ancient Rome and was startled to discover that the act of men shaving their bodies was not uncommon in the ancient world. Indeed, the pose of heroic nudity seen in statues of Rome and Greece only allows a little tuft of hair in the nether regions.
If it's good enough for a gladiator, then it's good enough for this MADman.
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Sunday 12 February 2012
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