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Peter Rook: Memoirs of a MADman* - you can tell a man by the shoes he wears
There is a saying that goes you can tell a man by the shoes he wears. Personally, I think a man’s shoes can send very mixed messages.
For example, a man who wears trainers can be either athletic and likes to take care of his body, or he’s a lazy slob who can’t even be bothered to wear a smart pair of shoes.
A man who sports sandals is either footloose and fancy free or simply an ageing hippy oblivious to his fashion faux pas when he combines them with socks.
Similarly, a man who wears beautiful leather tie-ups or loafers either wants to present a professional image or he is completely uptight.
And a man who wears funky, trendy shoes is either fun and lives for the moment or is desperately over-compensating for the lack of a personality.
You see. Shoes are not necessarily a good indicator of the type of man he is.
A much better insight into the male psyche (a scary place at the best of times) is his attitude to socks. That’s right! Socks!
For example a woman in search of a suitable partner can use a man’s socks to test what kind of lover he will make in bed.
If his socks are the first thing he removes when he is preparing himself for a spot of passion then he is likely to be a considerate, thoughtful lover who is aware that socks possess all the sex appeal of elephant trunk thongs. However, if they are the last thing on his person to be removed, he is clearly ignorant of how ridiculous he looks with just his socks on and he’s probably more concerned about keeping his feet warm than attending to your physical needs.
And if he keeps his socks on during love-making I suggest you continue your fruitless, doomed search for Mr Right forthwith. Socks can also be used to measure the male mindset when it comes to long-term relationships.
I suggest you take a sneak peek at your partner’s sock drawer at the earliest opportunity and, if he still has all his socks matching then it is clear he is still eager to impress, since you are likely to be the only person that will see whether they are matching. I have always thought that if you’re socks a man’s matching he has either too much time on your hands or a wife or both.
On the other hand, if they are a disparate mish mash of mismatches then the decay of complacency has set in. However, if he wears odd socks when he is in your company but makes a very definite effort to match them up whenever he leaves the home, it is a good indicator of infidelity. Check his socks ladies.
*Middle Aged & Divorced
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Saturday 26 May 2012
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