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Peter Rook: bad habits are down to a deep-rooted grooming instinct
I have written much about how important it is for the MADman not to let things slide too much once you become divorced.
I have written much about how important it is for the MADman not to let things slide too much once you become divorced.Without someone to keep the male of the species in check they have a tendency to go all caveman, as if they are subliminally getting in touch with their primeval previously-repressed side.
I have always maintained that women, for all their faults, many faults (and they are far too many to log in this column) they do seem to have a calming, soothing, civilising effect on men.
Consider how rugby players behave in the post-match booze up. Normally articulate individuals degenerate into Neanderthals, farting, swearing and swilling beer, indulging in the worst, most abhorrent excesses of male behaviour.
Then, throw a handful of women into the mix and those same knuckle-draggers will behave like perfect gentlemen – especially if it happens to be their mums.
Men need women to keep them in check.
With this in mind you may have found that you have unwittingly regressed and reverted into the "missing link" that has laid dormant for many years.
This "inner you" can manifest with the emergence of a number of bad habits. You probably had a whole manner of bad habits that you were blissfully unaware of until you got married and they were pointed out to you with almost daily regularity.
You don't have to worry about some bad habits now you're a MADman, such as leaving the toilet seat up, dropping dirty washing on the floor rather than in the laundry basket or putting your elbows on the table at home.
But with no-one to highlight your failings, you may start picking, pulling, biting, chewing and poking all manner of body parts without realising you're doing it.
If you have ever seen anyone removing nasal hair by means of puling it out at the root while standing by the coffee machine, you will know what I mean.
And seeing as how you are probably of the age when nasal hair sprouts from your conk, it could be you.
Men also have a problem with their nether regions.
Forcing them into an unnatural carrying device it's no surprise that constant adjustment is required for comfort and air conditioning. When you were married you would doubtless hear the rebuke, "Stop playing pocket billiards!" Generally, it's best to do this surreptitiously, rather than rearranging everything on the nearest work surface.
Many of our bad habits come down to a deep-rooted grooming instinct. But public body exploration of nooks and crannies may be funny when little kids are performing it on You've Been Framed, but its unseemly and undignified for a middle-aged man.
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Wednesday 23 May 2012
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