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Paul Stainton: Not the Peterborough Budget News...
Hallo, here is the news... Peterborough boss, Marco Cereste, has delivered a rousing, New Year speech, to his ever-diminishing troops, ahead of what promises to be a very difficult 2012.
“C’mon guys we are all in this together, apart from you lollipop person, you can leave now and take your stick with you.
“Oh, and you lot at the back, yes you, numbers one to seventy, you shouldn’t be here either.”
Breaking news now and we are getting reports of a mugging epidemic sweeping across the city.
Vast numbers of people have described an unknown assailant in a Hacket shirt, holding them upside down, until an extra £32 a year falls out of their pockets.
The Police and Fire service have been alerted and say the figure of £32 could rise significantly once they have finished their calculations.
In fashion news, Councillor David Seaton has won best dressed councillor for the third year in a row – his trademark, sports casual look, featured prominently in the ET earlier this week.
He wins a smart shirt and tie from John Lewis.
At Peterborough Magistrates court today, three thousand people have been fined a total of three quarters of a million pounds, for non-payment of library book fines.
They claimed that the new library opening times made it almost impossible to take books back on time.
Just a reminder that the libraries are now open from 07.31am to 07.32am in the morning and from 22.59 to 23.00 in the evening.
In sport, the Posh players were due to open the new ten million pound, Tommy Robson Academy school, in Hampton today.
Unfortunately, hundreds of children were left disappointed after George Boyd, Lee Tomlin and Emile Sinclair failed to turn up again.
Boyd was eventually found, still stuck in Lee Cattermole’s pocket, whilst Joe Lewis did arrive at the last minute, but he couldn’t deal with the crossing without assistance.
And finally, despite one or two mishaps, the new volunteer campaign, “What could a councillor do?”, has been warmly welcomed by the Peterborough public.
Although sadly, former Mayor, Keith Sharp, will never play the piano again after helping out at Frank’s the Butchers and councillor, Ed Murphy needs a hernia operation, after following some less than helpful advice from a patient, whilst volunteering on the gynaecology ward at the new hospital.
That’s it from me, there will be more news next Tuesday.
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Weather for Peterborough
Saturday 26 May 2012
Today
Sunny
Temperature: 11 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 18 mph
Wind direction: East
Tomorrow
Sunny
Temperature: 11 C to 23 C
Wind Speed: 16 mph
Wind direction: East
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