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Kev Lawrence: Man behind the mic column - 09/02/10
THIS week someone with nothing better to do, decided to publish a list of '50 things that most annoy mums'.
THIS week someone with nothing better to do, decided to publish a list of '50 things that most annoy mums'.Worryingly, as I pondered the stuff that winds my own wife up, I realised that I was guilty of contributing to about 49 of the 50. And my two young children, cherished and unconditionally loved as they are, are both right next to me in the dock!
My wife, like every woman I presume, has an angry button. And when it is un-wittingly pushed, it can turn her from a gentle, smiling and soft lady, to a fire breathing monster on legs. And nearly always, the trigger for this mood swing will involve one or more thing from this list. The change is frightening.
The top five things that most annoy mums are: marks in the toilet, wee on the toilet seat, overflowing bins, toothpaste stains left in the sink and dirty clothes dumped next to the washing basket instead of in it.
This city will be full of men who are guilty of at least one, if not all of these. And yet we all go blindly through our lives committing these hideous home crimes, almost subconsciously. I swear to you, when I clean my teeth in the morning, and at night, I am adamant that there is NO TOOTHPASTE left on the sink. And yet, on a relatively regular basis, I am dragged by the ear by my woman, who moments earlier was nibbling and whispering sweet nothings into it, to the bathroom, where she will point at the offending white stain and yell: "It is always me who has to clean up after you, you lazy so and so. Do you not think I have better things to do with my time?"
Let's consider a few more from the list, that will more than likely also relate to you; wearing shoes in the house, bunched-up socks in the washing basket, un-made beds, not using a bread-board to cut up bread, shaving hair left in the sink, curtains left closed, lights left on, (and the thing that causes stress in my wife every single weekend without fail) . . . shoes left lying in the hallway.
Perhaps schools should teach our kids about this stuff. If they did, argument levels would gradually fall, and nagging might even become a thing of the past. More marriages could be saved, and the world would become a happier place.
Finally, it is irritating to note that most women are guilty at times of most of these things themselves – only no one ever picks them up on it. My wife has left a light on in her time. She's also left wet towels on the bed at some point - I'd swear to it. And although I cannot prove it with actual evidence, or recall the moment when it happened, I would put money on her at least once in her life, making a mark on the toilet.
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Sunday 12 February 2012
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