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Kev Lawrence: on spending time with the family
I have always considered myself a pretty good parent. One who loves his kids unconditionally, as they paddle their way through the early years of life.
I have always considered myself a pretty good parent. One who loves his kids unconditionally, as they paddle their way through the early years of life.Sometimes though, thanks mainly to the hours I work, I don't spend as much time with them as I would like. As a nation, we are obsessed with bettering ourselves, and are subsequently working way too many hours. And I find that if I go for days and days without seeing a lot of my two, a couple of negative things happen.
First, the wife gets stressed, as she is having to look after them on her own, therefore she is more likely to snap and become irritable. And believe me, it's not very nice.
And secondly, my own authority seems to slip a notch or two, and it takes a while to get it back up. Nothing major, but with dad not around so much, it's almost like the reigns are slackened a little, and they push the boundaries a bit more.
This week on our Heart Breakfast radio show, mother of three boys and Olympic gold medalist Sally Gunnell was a guest. She was promoting a booklet published by Tumble Tots, which gives mums and dads ideas and tips on making parenting less of a challenge, and more of a joy.
Sally told us that raising three boys was a greater challenge for her than winning a Gold medal. And she emphasised the simple goal of creating a "happy family" environment, as her most important point. Sitting down for a game of Monopoly or going out for a family bike ride, are all things that are easy and enjoyable to do, but as we get wrapped up in our busy lives, we forget to do them as often as we could or should.
In our own household, as the weekend comes round, there's always a job list as long as your arm. The house needs cleaning, the school shoes needs doing, the dog needs walking, the ironing pile is frightening, the kids have homework to complete, and, all of a sudden, quality family time spent together looks a forlorn hope. And that's when I am at home, and not off working somewhere.
But it's vital that it does not pass you by, according to the research I read.
The better the relationship between you and your children, the wider range of positive outcomes for them, including higher achievement levels at school, better social intelligence, and improved peer integration. Back-to-back episodes of Ben 10 is quite often an easy option to keep your little ones quiet, and to allow you to get on with your stuff. But interacting with them, stimulating them, and bonding with them is much more rewarding.
Another benefit that giving more family time brings, I have found, is that it also strengthens your marriage.
Not a bad little side effect.
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Thursday 24 May 2012
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