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Julia Ogden: Too many men think childraising is easy


More than just mum - 02/10/08

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Published Date:
02 October 2008
I WAS saddened to read a national report this week which revealed children wished they could spend more time with their fathers.
According to the survey, one in three children say they rarely spend longer than one hour with their dad each day – and that's only if they catch him before he goes out to work, and returns in time for their bedtime.

Two thirds of children say they wish their dad spent less time working and more time with them.

But a shocking 22 per cent also claim their dad is more concerned about pursuing his own hobbies and interests than playing with them.

The shock poll of 500 six to 15-year-olds, was conducted by the market research website for children, www.youngpoll.com.

It revealed that 56 per cent of children don't even believe their dad goes out to work to give them a good upbringing – claiming it's all about making money.

Forty three per cent of youngsters say they would simply enjoy hanging out with their dad more, while 41 per cent think it would be good to have more play-time together.

Seventeen per cent would appreciate their dad's help with homework, and 16 per cent would like their dad to read with them.

More than a third of kids would relish the opportunity to play their computer games with dad, while 31 per cent would like to watch movies.

Fifteen per cent would like to try cooking with dad, and the same percentage of kids would simply enjoy sitting round the dinner table at tea time.

Only 14 per cent of kids say their dad knows them better than their mums – who spend an average of five hours caring for them every day.

Fascinating reading, I think you will agree.

Without wishing to sound smug, this report has made me realise how lucky I am to have the kind of husband I have. We share our responsibility as parents 50/50 and my husband really enjoys spending good, quality time with our son, often taking him off on his own for a few hours to play footie in the park or swimming at the local leisure centre.

And yet I know, from talking to my friends, that David is in the minority.

Even in today's "enlightened" world, there are still far too many men who think that the child-raising is a "woman's job".

It doesn't even seem to matter if their wife/partner works, women are still expected to do the bulk of the work caring for their children.

The husband of one of my friends keeps a tally of every time she goes out and leaves him alone with the kids, so he can get the exact hours back – normally down the pub with his mates.

"Sometime I think I need to clock in and out of my own home," she joked.

But I have to say I don't think this situation is remotely funny and reading the report above, it would appear that the children don't either.

The full article contains 516 words and appears in Peterborough ET newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • Last Updated: 02 October 2008 4:36 PM
  • Source: Peterborough ET
  • Location: Peterborough
 
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1

A higher presence,

02/10/2008 17:15:25
I'm sure that many men would like to spend more time with their kids, but the sad fact is that work commitments often mean this is not possible during the week.
2

dave - welland,

Peterborough 03/10/2008 01:30:28
I've said this before: Julia Ogden is a weirdo! She simply HATES men. I feel sooo sorry for her husband.
3

Maggie McCarroll,

Market Deeping 06/10/2008 13:17:10
Dave at Welland seems to be able to read the words but doesn't understand the meaning. I believe there are reading courses at the local college.
4

Barry Gaynor,

15/10/2008 08:48:29
Despite the increasingly ‘hands-on’ reality of fathering for many men, its noted that the above mentioned article and auther once again attempts to add to the cultural stereotypes of fathers as only capbele ‘providers’ and ‘breadwinners’ without any real evidence.

A web survey seems to be an attractive means of collecting survey data, because it provides simple, cheap and fast access to a large group of people. However you must be made aware that there are pitfalls,much like basing your stereotypes on the opinions of close friends. The quality of the outcomes of web surveys is seriously affected by self-selection (as opposed to controlled probability sampling) , which generally leads to a lack of coverage of the general population as a whole and thus to biased findings of which to draw conclusions.

At a similiar time to your negative article regarding fathers on 1 October 2008 Studies by Dr Daniel Nettle reveal the importance of dads to their children’s success. It was A 50-year study of 17,000 people born in the same week in 1958 found those with more hands-on dads went on to thrive in later life. Note the time spent studying the subjects and the number of subjects. Within the same report it was noted that fathers’ involvement in 1969 was “equal to mother” in 62 percent of the cases.

These types of findings have been reproduced again and again in various different papers and although mothers still carry the major share of childcare responsibilities, parents in dual-earner households commonly report that childcare is equally shared and that father involvemnt is a positive influence.

Many men feel they are under pressure both to earn the major income for their families and to care for their children. Despite the increasingly ‘hands-on’ reality of fathering for many men, cultural stereotypes of fathers portrayed in your column are the unfortunate brick wall fathers encounter and have to live with. Instead of constantly demonising fathers it w
5

Barry Gaynor,

15/10/2008 08:52:53
Instead of constantly demonising fathers it would be helpfull for all concerned if your paper would produce and report on positive fathering which is what the majority of children encounter and encourage this type involvemnt to an even greater extent for the benifit of our children.
6

Iron Man,

Werrington 17/11/2008 22:43:30
I take an active role in my childrens' lives, but I don't know many of my friends that do the same.

Women still seem to take the main responsibility for child-rearing despite holding down full time jobs. IT doesn't seem to me that much has changed. Some of my friends think they're actively parenting if they pick up the hoover once a month!
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