Cue: concurrent gasping and simultaneous grabbing of pen and quill; furious stamping out of letters to the reckless mediums who exhibit this kind of offensive and abhorrent advertising. However, of the top ten advertising complaints of last year, around 70 per cent were not upheld by the Advertising Standards Agency, showing that we're so bloody American these days we can barely call ourselves Brits.

Plucked straight from the '40s, came the complaints about sexuality. Altogether now: eye roll.

It'd seem that our population is somewhat divided. In the green corner, we have the avant-garde creatives, activists, and PC-compliant modernists. In the red corner, we have the Clarksons of the world; set in their ways, and averse to change, or anything advertising feminine hygiene.

So first up of the 2006 bunch, a D&G ad showed two men briefly kissing, while French Connection opted for a female embrace. Some complained this was unsuitable for kids to see, whilst others deemed it inappropriate for viewing at any time. Ye gods.

Incidentally, there's always the one – or, in this case, several – who choose to target nudity as an offence.

Of last year's most complained about, two included nudity issues. The British Heart Foundation, for showing a naked man cuddling a woman on a beach – with his chest and genitals completely covered. And then The Sun, for covering up Keeley, 21, London's thruppeny bits with 10 pence-pieces. So, of the two ads, the most you could see was a guy's arms and legs, and a woman's stomach. Wow. Shocker. About as offensive as Louis Walsh.

On the same vein was the Rustlers' ad, which showed a woman in her lingerie, looking provocative on a sofa.

This was seen by many as "showing women as sexual objects." Yeah, like the girls haven't been drooling over the Diet Coke man for the last 10 years. Shheeeshh.

Then, and my personal favourite, comes the ad that ranked the most complaints: the Unhooked campaign, which encouraged smokers to quit. 774 people moaned about the shocking content of the ad. Er, yeah. So, anybody else seeing the irony here?

Surely, if we're going to be as pedantic to complain, it should be for good reason.

That Cadbury's Flake ad, for crying out loud. Hands up who's ever going to buy another one after witnessing Joss Stone warbling "Flakey, Flake, crumbly choc-o-late, Flake"?

Yep, me neither.