But what is life like for their loved ones, back at home? Jemma Walton found out.

STUART Walker has missed two of his four-year old son Connor's birthdays. But that's not because he doesn't love his little boy – it's because he's an RAF dad.

Stuart (36) has been in the airforce for 19 years, and married to Emma for nine years. So she knew what she was getting into when she said 'I do'.

"Stuart was away during the run-up to our wedding," said Emma (30). "And so I had to plan it all and sort everything out – which I loved!

"I knew he had to go abroad with the RAF, and I accepted that. I tried not to think about what could happen to him."

During the time they have been together the places Stuart, who is based at RAF Cottesmore, has served in include Iraq (twice), Afghanistan (three times), Kosovo and Bosnia.

Life ticked over until the couple had their children, Connor (four-and-a-half) and Lois (10 months). "Going away gets harder for him and us the older the kids get," said Emma, from Bewick Place, Hampton.

"I had to tell him I was pregnant with Lois over the phone, and he has missed her first word and her first tooth, and he will miss her first birthday in October, because he's on operations then.

"It is hard for him, because he won't get those times back, they are gone forever now. But is also very hard for Connor.

"When Stuart used to come back the first couple of times, Connor didn't recognise him. And now he's older he wants his daddy to read him a bedtime story, and to play with him. Little boys just want men around – they want their daddy.

"Stuart doesn't understand why we can't talk to daddy on the phone, but when Stuart's in Afghanistan we can't. We have to wait until he rings us, and even then the phones are sometimes down for weeks at a time.

"I don't tell Connor when Stuart's coming back, because I have been there so many times only to get a phone call to say it would be another three weeks, and then another three, and another three. Sometimes, we go to collect Stuart, and other times Connor just comes home and finds him there.

"They are really nice times."

Related:
Read Jonny Muir's reports from Kandahar:
Our Man in Afghanistan - peterboroughtoday.co.uk/kandahar
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Emma juggles a full-time job as manager of Stanground Sports Centre with looking after two kids by herself for the six or so months that Stuart is out of the country every year. How does she manage?

"I couldn't do it without my mum," she said. "My parents live in Peterborough. And the sports centre is like a second home to Connor and Lois.

"All in all, Stuart has got a good job that he really enjoys. He is an avionic engineer, which means that he's not on the front line, he's fixing the electrics on the Harriers. But even so, there are risks associated with that, which I try to not focus on. We don't have the news on much in our house.

"Going away to war is the downside of his job, but he is working for the country and we are very proud of him for doing that."

Mum and dad so proud of what son does
THE Helliars' son 27-year-old Sam did a lot of jobs before deciding that he wanted to join the RAF a year ago, but now he wouldn't do anything else.

"He tells us he's a lifer now," smiled Sam's mum, Pauline. "We're pleased that he's found a job that he enjoys so much. "
Sam (27) comes from Yeovil in Somerset, but is based at Wittering. His parents had visited the base to learn what to expect when Sam and his colleagues come home in a few weeks.

"He has a real sense of purpose," said dad Keith. "And although I was worried when he said he was going to Afghanistan, he just said that it was what he wanted to do.

"Funnily enough, Sam signed up to the RAF 50 years to the day that his uncle had joined, and we are very proud of him for doing what he does."

'I suddenly felt so alone and burst into tears'
REBECCA England walked into an open day for her son's new school and burst into tears because she was the only mum there by herself.

"I don't really know why I was crying as I do a lot of things on my own, and it doesn't really bother me," she said. "But I was the only one there, and my husband isn't here and my mum and dad are down in Kent, and I suddenly felt so alone."

Rebecca (37) has been married to Andrew, a flying officer, for the past nine years, and they have four and a half year old Oliver together.
She said that the toughest part of being married to a serviceman was having to move from place to place, and be away from her family and the friends she grew up with.

"The RAF is a world in a world," she said. "It can be difficult for civilians to understand. An RAF wife can move from place to place with her husband, or she can buy a house somewhere, and he can be based somewhere else and come home on his days off.

"Or you can live on the station, as I do. The squadron wives live at RAF Cottesmore, but the officers' wives live in Wittering, and I am one of only two officers' wives here.

"You do get support living here, but there are personal things that happen, and sometimes you just want your parents. But being an RAF wife you do have to develop a certain toughness, and you have to be independent."
Rebecca met Andrew when they were both in the airforce, but Rebecca decided to leave. She now works as a temp with a company of chartered surveyors, and said that having a career of your own as a services wife can be hard.

"You can only commit to being based at one camp for two years or so, and a lot of places won't invest in you when you are honest and tell them that.

"And so their job does dominate you life, to a large extent. Andrew just loves his job – he says he's like a stick of rock with RAF all the way through. He loves the sense of unity, the camaraderie."
As for the dangerous part of serving overseas, Rebecca said Andrew had been in some sticky situations.

"I do know that happens, and what can you do? You cry", she said. "But then you come round and tell yourself that you can't be too hysterical as he hasn't died.

"And when you hear that servicemen have died you feel so grateful that it wasn't your husband – but then you feel huge guilt for feeling like that."

Rebecca has lived on-base at Wittering since last December, and Andrew has only been back there for four weeks, during a rest and relaxation break from Afghanistan.

"We are used to being apart and then coming together," she said. "But sometimes I will be complaining about something, and he won't take it seriously. When you have been working in Afghanistan, a lot of things seem very trivial.
"And when they're out there they can throw their washing in the laundry and it's done for them. Unfortunately for him, the same's not true at home!"
Although life as a RAF wife can be hard, Rebecca is extremely proud of her husband.

"When I hear things like the RAF being advised not to wear their uniforms in Peterborough because of abuse from the public I get very angry," she said.

"And I also got angry when I saw the hauliers on strike recently.
"They were asking for higher wages that Stuart, who is in Afghanistan, in charge of 35 men, and only earns £30,000 a year."

As for plans for the future, Rebecca said: "I haven't got any. I don't know what could happen next week, never mind in 10 years' time. You just have to make your decisions as they arise, and go with them."

Next page: Tracey Williams is no stranger to war zones