Half-joking, he was half-right. Home to 14,000 souls, Afghanistan's largest airbase is a comparative oasis in a desert of chaos, where the transient population feast at Pizza Hut, drink lattes at Tim Horton's and relax on comfortable beds in air-conditioned rooms.

The assistants at the American store, selling everything from electric guitars to knives, call out "next please" as if they are working in down town Chicago.

There are three constants – a dirty veil of dust, as if the camp is permanently swathed in a choking fog, and the searing heat, which sends the temperature rocketing into the mid-40s.

Read more of Jonny's reports from Kandahar:
Our Man in Afghanistan - peterboroughtoday.co.uk/kandahar-------------------------------

The third is the threat of Taliban mortar and rocket attacks, signalled by a warning siren. "If you hear it," I was told in no uncertain terms upon arrival, "you've got two or three seconds to get your face on the floor".

But for all the dust, heat and potential rocket attacks, compared to the world outside the wire, Kandahar Airfield really is a holiday camp.

To understand, you have to step outside the airfield's gates and expose yourself to the risk of roadside devices and suicide bombers.

That risk is horrifyingly real. On April 13, two men, one from RAF Wittering-based 3 Squadron, and one from RAF Cottesmore-based 504 Squadron, which is attached to 3 Squadron for a six-month deployment, died in a roadside explosion.

Only 10 days ago, a Wittering airman was catapulted 25 metres from his vehicle after it struck another hidden mine. He has returned to the UK where he is undergoing treatment for a broken back.

I was part of a convoy of RAF vehicles that set off along Highway 4, the road that links Kandahar in the north and the volatile Pakistan border region to the south.

As we approached the highway, men in the first vehicle shot off a series of flares warning road-users that our convoy was about to pull on to the road.

Once on the highway, Afghan road-users are expected to follow a strict of conduct, which can effectively be summed up as "don't mess with the RAF".

Drivers are instructed to park their vehicles on the gravel hard shoulders lining the highway as the convoy passes by.

If the vehicle doesn't stop, the men take six steps known as "escalation drills".

First, wave arms and flash hazard lights. Second, fire a flare into the sky.

Third, fire a flare at the vehicle. Fourth, shoot into "captured ground" at the roadside. Fifth, fire at the car's grill.