A wonderfully sumptuous meal was enjoyed by all in fabulously upmarket surroundings and Eddie's speech and the customary presentation of a bouquet of flowers to Lady Jane went down as smoothly as the port and brandy.

Sensibly nobody had to drive and Eddie had even brought along his own supply of DVDs to play on the minibus and make sure the journey home was as pleasurable as the rest of the evening.

So what did he play then? Was it a bit of Beethoven, a chunk of Tchaivkosky or perhaps some soft, soothing lovesongs?

No, no. no. Try 'The Best Of The Singing Postman' followed by his 'Dirty Rugby Songs' LP!


It's worth replaying

NOW I'm not suggesting professional footballers are thick but . . .

A conversation between two Posh players at Hornchurch on Sunday went something along these lines.

Chris Whelpdale to Charlie Lee: "If it's a replay, will it be at our place?"

Lee's reply: "No, it'll be at Old Trafford!"


Sam's not the man

YOU'D think Sam Sargeant would have learned his lesson.

Last week he admitted he couldn't play rugby because he was painting his girlfriend's nail bar pink, and was promptly nicknamed 'Samantha' by his Borough team-mates.

This week when asked if he was going down the club with the boys for a few beers and to support the first team, he replied: "I don't think so. I have to go to Ikea to pick up some bits and pieces."

Now his dad, Borough stalwart Bill, is believed to be seeking an urgent meeting with 'Samantha' to teach him a few basic rules for Saturday afternoons between September and April!


Ben's a head-banger

City of Peterborough Swimming Club's head coach Ben Negus has just bought a house and is doing some DIY before moving in. The other day he was plastering the wall when a lump of plaster slid off the trowel and went behind a radiator.

He leaned forwards to see where it had gone and promptly headbutted the wall right in the middle of the fresh plaster.


Shame on you . . . 1

CRYING off at rugby with a bad leg injury, as Thorney's Mark Harris has done for several weeks, is fair enough.

But dropping out of the Thorney Ex-Servicemen's dominoes team this week with the same complaint is totally unacceptable.


Shame on you . . . 2

STILL with dominoes and I have to report that the Bull, Newborough, team made a sharp exit after their match on Wednesday night.

The reason? They'd just been beaten 4-3 by the Letter B – a team made up entirely of ladies.


Bill's boiling point

THIS is the opening paragraph of a Borough Rugby Club match report submitted by Bill Sargeant:

"The X-Men were hit with a late cry-off from Neil Duffield as he'd got a boil on a place that only his mother and half of the ladies in Angels have seen."